This may happen when UID gets into full swing...
Cheers
Customer Care in 2020............after Nandan Nilekani succeeds in his job
Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut ...."
Customer: "Helloo, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh...,hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17
Changi Road. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302
and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now
Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes"
from the National library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how
much will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The
total is $49.99"
Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card
is over the limit and you owe your bank $3, 720.55 since October last
year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing
loan, Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and
withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash
ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can
always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
Customer: " What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system, you own a
Scooter,....registration number 1123..."
Customer: " ????"
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're
also diabetic....... "
Customer: .... (abusive language )
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July
1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a
policeman...?"
Customer: [Faints]
[This piece appeared in the Iyer group mail]
Monday, August 31, 2009
Indian Phenomenon Of VIP Culture
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/news/india/VIP-culture-Is-it-a-malaise-in-other-countries-too/articleshow/4923306.cms
Shobha John, TNN 23 August 2009
In India, almost everybody tries to be a VIP. Dropping names, pulling strings, bribing cops, using family connections, we try it all. When actor
Shah Rukh Khan initially expressed outrage at being interrogated at a US airport, he symbolized a larger Indian malaise -- the VIP culture. But is this culture unique to India? Does it exist elsewhere?
Not really. The VIP culture seems to be a uniquely Indian phenomenon. As Sydney-based banker Joseph Mathews says, "It is a fallout of the colonial mindset and almost feudal in intent."
In the West, things are totally different. Sweden, for instance, believes in sticking to the rules. George Abraham, an Indian doctor in the small Swedish town of Varnamo, says, "One doesn't need to look for escape routes if one sticks to the rules. That doesn't mean traffic rules aren't broken. But the fines are so heavy, one would baulk at breaking them again. It could vary from Rs 1,200-28,000, you could lose your licence for two months or be put in jail." Is that too harsh? No, a well-functioning society needs them, insists Abraham.
Sweden also rejoices in its complete absence of hierarchies. Everyone is treated the same, from CEO of a company to its cleaner, except, of course, the King. Name-dropping is considered extremely embarrassing. What about queues? Do Swedes think it fair for important people to jump queues? Abraham is clear: It would be in extremely poor taste to break them. Bribing cops? Don't even think about it, he says. Paybacks? "It must happen," he shoots back quickly. "Remember Bofors?"
The VIP culture seems refreshingly absent from the UK too, says Dr Hardy Thomas, lecturer in finance at the University of Essex. Thomas, who has lived in the UK for more than two decades, appreciates the no-nonsense attitude of the English policeman. The VIP culture could not work here, he says. If celebrities throw their weight around, the rule book will be thrown at them and the media called in. What about name-dropping? Just not done. Minor British royals don't have a police escort.
As in Sweden, bribery means strict punishment. You will be jailed instantly. In the UK, the police is answerable only to the courts and can't be manipulated, says Thomas.
In Japan, an SRK-type episode wouldn't even make it to the newspapers, says Nagasawa, Delhi bureau chief of Japanese financial daily Nikkei. "The Indian media has behaved as if the star deserves special treatment," he says. He admits there have been instances of Japanese celebrities getting caught with drugs and politicians taking bribes, but the law is very strict. "I, too, have been caught speeding just 10km/hr over the prescribed limit and had to pay a fine of some $300. Did I try to reduce it? No, it would have backfired," says Nagasawa.
India's VIP culture is also foreign to New Zealand and Australia, with Mathews emphasizing it is limited to the entertainment industry and the law is generally the same for everyone. Two years ago, a driver in New Zealand prime minister Helen Clark's convoy was caught overspeeding, faced the legal process and was promptly served with regulatory notices.
But it's a different story in South Asia. Much of the sub-continent is enormously prone to the VIP culture, laments Prabhu Ghate, former contributing editor of Himal, a Nepalese regional news magazine.. "Abroad, there is more respect for the individual. A policeman in the US will always be referred to as sir or officer," he says.
Caste makes the VIP in Nepal, adds Rita Manchanda, director, research, South Asia Forum for Human Rights in Kathmandu. Society is highly-stratified and dominated by Brahmins and Kshatriyas. She points to the unique problems that come with being unequal before the law. "Everyone in Kathmandu knows everybody else (but currently) with no real government (in Nepal) people are getting away with crime. No one knows who is close to whom and whom to arrest.
Shobha John, TNN 23 August 2009
In India, almost everybody tries to be a VIP. Dropping names, pulling strings, bribing cops, using family connections, we try it all. When actor
Shah Rukh Khan initially expressed outrage at being interrogated at a US airport, he symbolized a larger Indian malaise -- the VIP culture. But is this culture unique to India? Does it exist elsewhere?
Not really. The VIP culture seems to be a uniquely Indian phenomenon. As Sydney-based banker Joseph Mathews says, "It is a fallout of the colonial mindset and almost feudal in intent."
In the West, things are totally different. Sweden, for instance, believes in sticking to the rules. George Abraham, an Indian doctor in the small Swedish town of Varnamo, says, "One doesn't need to look for escape routes if one sticks to the rules. That doesn't mean traffic rules aren't broken. But the fines are so heavy, one would baulk at breaking them again. It could vary from Rs 1,200-28,000, you could lose your licence for two months or be put in jail." Is that too harsh? No, a well-functioning society needs them, insists Abraham.
Sweden also rejoices in its complete absence of hierarchies. Everyone is treated the same, from CEO of a company to its cleaner, except, of course, the King. Name-dropping is considered extremely embarrassing. What about queues? Do Swedes think it fair for important people to jump queues? Abraham is clear: It would be in extremely poor taste to break them. Bribing cops? Don't even think about it, he says. Paybacks? "It must happen," he shoots back quickly. "Remember Bofors?"
The VIP culture seems refreshingly absent from the UK too, says Dr Hardy Thomas, lecturer in finance at the University of Essex. Thomas, who has lived in the UK for more than two decades, appreciates the no-nonsense attitude of the English policeman. The VIP culture could not work here, he says. If celebrities throw their weight around, the rule book will be thrown at them and the media called in. What about name-dropping? Just not done. Minor British royals don't have a police escort.
As in Sweden, bribery means strict punishment. You will be jailed instantly. In the UK, the police is answerable only to the courts and can't be manipulated, says Thomas.
In Japan, an SRK-type episode wouldn't even make it to the newspapers, says Nagasawa, Delhi bureau chief of Japanese financial daily Nikkei. "The Indian media has behaved as if the star deserves special treatment," he says. He admits there have been instances of Japanese celebrities getting caught with drugs and politicians taking bribes, but the law is very strict. "I, too, have been caught speeding just 10km/hr over the prescribed limit and had to pay a fine of some $300. Did I try to reduce it? No, it would have backfired," says Nagasawa.
India's VIP culture is also foreign to New Zealand and Australia, with Mathews emphasizing it is limited to the entertainment industry and the law is generally the same for everyone. Two years ago, a driver in New Zealand prime minister Helen Clark's convoy was caught overspeeding, faced the legal process and was promptly served with regulatory notices.
But it's a different story in South Asia. Much of the sub-continent is enormously prone to the VIP culture, laments Prabhu Ghate, former contributing editor of Himal, a Nepalese regional news magazine.. "Abroad, there is more respect for the individual. A policeman in the US will always be referred to as sir or officer," he says.
Caste makes the VIP in Nepal, adds Rita Manchanda, director, research, South Asia Forum for Human Rights in Kathmandu. Society is highly-stratified and dominated by Brahmins and Kshatriyas. She points to the unique problems that come with being unequal before the law. "Everyone in Kathmandu knows everybody else (but currently) with no real government (in Nepal) people are getting away with crime. No one knows who is close to whom and whom to arrest.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
[Asian Kitchen Clinic]
What we use in our kitchen for our food
preparations can become effective cure
for some of our ailments
A person who is having dry cough consistently
can try this simple formula.
List of Items.
Coriander seeds (crushed one) 20 grams
Ginger small 2" piece
Palmyrah Candy. 20 grams.(do not use any other sweet)
(The tamil name for Palmyrah candy is Panam Kalkandu
or Kallakkaram)
First remove the skin of the ginger. Take a cup and put
the ginger and crush it inside the cup. Then add the
crushed coriander seeds and the palmyrah candy.
Boil water in the sauce pan and pour boiling water
in the cup containing the items stir it with a spoon
cover the cup with a lid and allow it cool down by
itself. Once it is cool down filter the liquid and drink
in the morning, then evening and next day morning
for three times. Repeat the same process using fresh
ingredients in the evening and next day morning
preparations. Take the evening dose before going to
bed. Please note that every time you got to prepare freshly.
That is all.
preparations can become effective cure
for some of our ailments
A person who is having dry cough consistently
can try this simple formula.
List of Items.
Coriander seeds (crushed one) 20 grams
Ginger small 2" piece
Palmyrah Candy. 20 grams.(do not use any other sweet)
(The tamil name for Palmyrah candy is Panam Kalkandu
or Kallakkaram)
First remove the skin of the ginger. Take a cup and put
the ginger and crush it inside the cup. Then add the
crushed coriander seeds and the palmyrah candy.
Boil water in the sauce pan and pour boiling water
in the cup containing the items stir it with a spoon
cover the cup with a lid and allow it cool down by
itself. Once it is cool down filter the liquid and drink
in the morning, then evening and next day morning
for three times. Repeat the same process using fresh
ingredients in the evening and next day morning
preparations. Take the evening dose before going to
bed. Please note that every time you got to prepare freshly.
That is all.
Friday, August 7, 2009
[Eight Gifts that Do Not Cost A Cent ]
1) THE[GIFT] OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming,
no planning your response. Just
listening.
2) THE[GIFT] OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs,
kisses, pats on the back and
handholds. Let these small
actions demonstrate the love you
have for family and friends.
3) THE[GIFT] OF LAUGHTER...
Clip cartoons.
Share articles and funny stories.
Your girl/boy will say, "I love to
laugh with you."
4) THE [GIFT] OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple "Thanks for the
help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be
remembered for a lifetime, and may
even change a life.
5) THE [GIFT] OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere, "You look great
in red," "You did a super job" or "That
was a wonderful meal" can make
someone's day.
6) THE[GIFT] OF A FAVOR...
Every day, go out of your way to
do something kind.
7) THE [GIFT] OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing
better than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and give
the gift of solitude to others.
8) THE [GIFT ]OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to
extend a kind word to someone,
really it's not that hard to say,
Hello or Thank You. Friends are
a very rare jewel, indeed. They
make you smile and encourage
you to succeed. They lend an ear,
they share a word of praise, and they
always want to open their hearts to us.
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming,
no planning your response. Just
listening.
2) THE[GIFT] OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs,
kisses, pats on the back and
handholds. Let these small
actions demonstrate the love you
have for family and friends.
3) THE[GIFT] OF LAUGHTER...
Clip cartoons.
Share articles and funny stories.
Your girl/boy will say, "I love to
laugh with you."
4) THE [GIFT] OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple "Thanks for the
help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be
remembered for a lifetime, and may
even change a life.
5) THE [GIFT] OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere, "You look great
in red," "You did a super job" or "That
was a wonderful meal" can make
someone's day.
6) THE[GIFT] OF A FAVOR...
Every day, go out of your way to
do something kind.
7) THE [GIFT] OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing
better than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and give
the gift of solitude to others.
8) THE [GIFT ]OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to
extend a kind word to someone,
really it's not that hard to say,
Hello or Thank You. Friends are
a very rare jewel, indeed. They
make you smile and encourage
you to succeed. They lend an ear,
they share a word of praise, and they
always want to open their hearts to us.
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